2012 Prediction: Global Warming Fallout!

2012 doomsday is definitely going to shake things up in terms of day to day world operations… it will make Wall Street Boardroom change management seem like childs play compared to what we will have to deal with should even half of the 2012 predictions come true…

Here is a well put together video on the possible 2012 Global Warming Fallout effects…

CATASTROF*CK!

Here is a 2012 Survival Guide: Complete Step by Step Manual that should help anyone cope with whatever may happen!

Please let me know if this was helpful…!

2012 Connection Author Profile

I’m a Talent!

You’re a risk-taker, and you follow your passions. You’re determined to take on the world and succeed on your own terms. Whether in the arts, science, engineering, business, or politics, you fearlessly express your own vision of the world. You’re not afraid of a fight, and you’re not afraid to bet your future on your own abilities. If you find a job boring or stifling, you’re already preparing your resume. You believe in doing what you love, and you’re not willing to settle for an ordinary life.

Talent: 85%
Lifer: 18%
Mandarin: 41%

Take the Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin quiz.

2012 Apocalypse: Suspects vs Heroes

Why are people so enamored with doomsday, how the world will end prophecy, and planet nibiru crash predictions when it comes to 2012? Why cannot we see it as a positive opportunity for change? Something that creates a new world and a better reality? Why are people so addicted to fear?! Anybody? Do 2012 doomsday predictions really matter? Are you really going to let them affect your spending habits? Your lifestyle habits?

Why are the top search engine search terms related to 2012 “doomsday” and “apocalypse”? Do people really fantasize about feeling sorry for themselves that much?! Not a single related term was positive or encouraging in any way!

Well since you insist on wanting to feel sorry for yourself, then here you go!

2012 Apocalypse Suspect Roundup (one of these suspects is going to kill you in 2012, just accept it!)

Suspect # 1

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!

Suspect # 2

Apocalypse Himself!

Suspect # 3

Asteriod (or some secret planet) Collision!

Suspect # 4

An Ice Age! (oil reserves will be supplied by fossils of wooly humans instead of mammoths next warm cycle)

Suspect # 5

Global Warming! (dammit! we should've elected Gore!)

Alas never fear though! We, as in every cartoon story, the humans have our brave and valiant heroes!

Allow me to present our heroes…

Well... we DID have him! hmm...

Oh! Wait! sorry! Here we go! This is the guy who will save us…

HERO! (yup, his file says he is still active!)

So there you go! Got some bad suspects out to get you and your pet chimpanzee but based upon the obstacles our Heroes have overcome before… the 2012 apocalypse should be a cake walk!

2012 Correlation Study: Cleavage vs Drama

I have a question that has been haunting me of late and perhaps my fellow readers can help to enlighten me with some insightful answers…

Question:
Is there a direct correlation between the size of a womans breasts and the amount of drama in her life?

Does Bustier Cleavage...->

Equal More Drama?

So while this may seem a little off-topic… believe me its not…! With all the junk being attached to the coat tails of 2012 from UFO’s to Unicorns to God knows what else… I thought I would throw in a shameless plug for some of my own favorite musings…

I can tell you there is definitely a direct correlation between one of the pictures above and the amount of traffic this article is getting. Care to guess which picture? You got it! the bag! Women are flocking by droves for a closer inspection of the quality of stitching…

2012 Survival Guide! Complete Step by Step, How-To Guide

So after worrying about the longevity of my family lineage for the countless nights due to the imminent 2012 ice age… I have taken it upon myself to create a 2012 Survival Gude: Complete Step by Step, How-To Guide in the hopes that I am able to salvage some of the human race and we can then repopulate the eart after the ice melts (I hope I am there for the repopulation !)

2012 Survival Guide: 9 Steps to Ensure Your Survival:

Step 1:

Realize that shit did really happen and that you're hopelessly screwed...:(

Step 2:

Have mercy on yourself and try to commit suicide (but we both know you don't have the balls to)...

Step 3:

Hunt like crazy for every resource you can find!!!

Step 4:

Utilize your well honed kindergarten hidden treasure stash skills again and hide all the good stuff you find!

Step 5:

Find a few guys who are tougher than you and feed them from your stash in return for protection! (dont skip this step)

Step 6:

Run survival and combat drills with the tough guys so you are prepared for whatever shit might happen next! (never show fear!)

Step 7:

When your tough guys get into fights over who is "King of the Hill", run n' hide! (seriously, pull your best Houdini trick!)

Step 8:

Instruct your tough guys to maintain vigilant patrols at all times! (Remember that you are the brains and leadership of this operation!)

Step 9:

Congrats You Made It! It's warm again! p.s. the tough guys have no need for your meager stash anymore and they are hungry for some real meat... RUN!!!

Get all that down? seriously this is life and death stuff… it’s not like I have all the free time in the world to save your sorry hide… Here is a huge tip for remember these 9 critical steps and securing your leadership power…

Huge Tip:

Tattoo these steps on your body in a "secret code within an image" technique! (Simply Genius!)

There you have it! You now know what needs to be done to survive… so you know the roadmap… and with the secret stash (see Step 4) and Huge Tip (you are now the ONLY one who knows how, don’t tell anybody the code!) effectively securing your leadership position over the clan… you should be in good shape!

Now again, for your legitimate quoted source (because 2012 Apocalypse believers are completely based off of empirical scientific data… ahem! cough!) then this should do it:

“…people perish for a lack of knowledge” – Hosea 4:6

2012 Ice Age! Best Survival Guide!

Some of the talking heads think that Dec 21 2012 is going to usher in a doom and gloom Ice Age! yikes… I like warm weather… will the warm vacation spots become planets closer to the sun?

The ice age that's going to cut back refrigator power bills...

What can we do to prepare for this coming catastrophy?! Learn how to build igloos? start training our stomachs to eat raw fish? Well the ice age would kill all the trees and then we wouldn’t have fire right? or soil for growing crop, right? wait, wouldn’t it freeze all the water and fish too?! hmm… will the earth still have solar energy in an ice age so we can quickly build a bunch of solar energy stuff just like what already powers calculators?

wait a second! we already have technology that harnesses solar energy (i.e. photo voltaic energy… arrgghh… okay Enstein.. that’s “LIGHT”)? which doesn’t need direct sunlight… just “light”? so what the devil is the business with all this “Jihad in the name of Allah! vs. Smoke the Terrorizers out of their Caves!” stuff if we don’t need oil?! (sorry… off topic… back to 2012 ice age survival)

okay… on a serious note… I have reviewed a multitude of survival guides for extended periods in sub-zero climates and I have found one that will give you the tools and roadmap you need to pull through:

Yay! The think tanks with brilliant research scientists and foremost theoriticians saw the 2012 ice age coming a long time ago and created a How To Survival Manual!!!

Well… ummm… err… okay…

no wait! seriously… Wait! so you might not survive the coming (supposedly) big bad ice age but I tell what ice age the above listed guide will help you break through: the frozen state of your internal vocabulary which has resulted in a frost bitten state of affairs in your family…(maybe? hmm…)

so grab a bunch of blankets… make some hot chocolate… (throw in some popcorn for the rugrats? survival tip: popcorn spills are easier to clean than hot chocolate spills), call the family herd together… and thaw some of those frozen communication channels! you know what they say: “the shortest distance between two people is laughter”   okay I don’t know who said that… but seriously, it’s pretty good, right?

okay well if you really insist on a legitimate quoted source (because 2012 Apocalypse believers are completely based off of empirical scientific data… ahem! cough!) then this should do it:

“A merry heart doeth good like medicine…” – Proverbs 17:22 (that’s quoting King Solomon… wiseguy that one)

Apostle Paul’s Corinthians Race?! Looking like the monkeys we act…

What happens when a spiritual practice gets twisted into pop culture...

HAHA! HAHAHAHA! okay… that’s actually not so funny now that I think about it… I mean.. it is funny to see how truly pathetic western judeo christianity is in relation to the true teachings of the Christ Jesus, so I laugh at the “join our club so you get fire insurance” of it… but seriously…. this is what the world is coming to…

sometimes I wonder if a nice big secret planet with a mysterious energy substance that causes a melt down in the cortex hitting the earth on Dec 21 2012 wouldn’t be such a bad idea… I mean think about it: half the bullcrap that happens on a daily basis is teh stuff of monkey randomness… at least then we would biologically look like the way we act

don’t you think that we look far too intelligent for how we act? Deep down inside I would prefer that 2012 bring about an internal change where our actions and lifestyles reflect the intelligence of how we look but that is probably me being naively hopeful…

2012 Projected Technology Horizon…

2012 is bringing out the best and the brightest of ideas… that in all seriousness is 50% sarcastic and 50% serious. 2012 has spawned birth to a public platform that is ranging wider than our fields of beautiful amber waves of grain… From the most obscure mythological factions to cutting edge technological ideas of advancement, we as citizens of this world are definitely progressing on a rapidly accelerating journey of change which may or may not culminate in something significant specifically in 2012.

Like most things in history though… events are only as significant as the value that people place on them.

As I wade through a seemingly endless network of links and articles on 2012 that make the Everglades seem like a leisurely stroll… I am discovering all kinds of technology being put into production that I have never even imagined. Yet… at the same time I am finding seemingly convincing information on a food shortage. I mean, look at the following…

Emotional Gaming – “Project Epoc”

The use of EEG brain scanning has now moved into the gaming industry with up–to–date developments in sensory gaming. Recently Emotiv publicly released information on their upcoming ‘Project Epoc’, a developmental technology that interprets electrical signals emitted by the brain and converts them into actions on a computer. In this way the user/gamer is able to direct actions via their thoughts in the online environment. Below are pictures of two prototypes which the company expects to market some time in 2008. – Gnosticliberationfront.com

So we can invent machines that allow us to play video games through thought but we can’t monitor global food production and supply? We can’t have a super advanced spreadsheet that calculates a 10 year projection of our coming food needs but you can sit on your couch and play a video game without moving a muscle?! Okay… it will probably require something a little more advanced than a spreadsheet but in light of the EEG Gaming contraption displayed above, I think our billions(?) of dollars in global agriculture could have slapped a stats system together?

Are we seriously being told that an obscure corporation can slap together a machine that reads your actual thoughts AND converts them into tangible actions but there isn’t a capability to create a hybrid of an Excel spreadsheet and Google Analytics on steroids to keep the 21st Century middle class global citizenry from going hungry?

Does that ring a little ludicrous only to me…?! Will that change by 2012?! Hello? Do you think we can have a multi-billion(?) dollar industry that deals with life or death necessities (food & drink) catch up with the metric measurement and projection capabilities of obscure tech companies (see above EEG contraption) and webmasters worldwide (see Google Analytics)?

Anybody?

2012 Already Seen Through Their Eyes?

Four men easily recognized by any reader of this blog who all introduced a “New Consciousness” to mankind and what did they get in return?

Why will 2012 be any different? Are you personally going to make 2012 different? All this talk of 2012 bringing a “New Consciousness” or a “Renewed Consciousness”… are you serious? So just because the clock struck the first second of December 21st, 2012 everybody is going to become enlightened?

Please… a New Consciousness for mankind is very possible… (inevitable in my belief)… but it won’t happen due to some external factor such as a clock striking a certain time and the stars aligning with certain energies… etc,. etc,. etc,.

A New Consciousness need not wait for 2012… that is a fools wishful thinking… the thinking of a lazy person who wants to do nothing and become different and better. A New Consciousness is ours to have today… Right Now…

The four men shown above didn’t wait for a certain mythological date or the approval of others for their New Consciousness… why are you waiting?

2012 Perfect for Boosting Consumer Spending?

Isn’t 2012 a perfect boost for consumer spending? I just heard something about food shortages and talks of food prices doubling in 2008. Are you kidding me?! We are in the flagship nation of the 21st Century and you are telling me that we have to worry about “food shortages”?!

We have technology advanced enough to offer wart removal off your butt with a satellite from outer space while you are sleeping as an non-invasive procedure and you are telling me we don’t have the technology to moniter global agricultural production and maintain supply projections for at least a decade out? Food shortage on the shores of the U.S.A.?  Is anyone as dumbfounded as me?

Here is a thought… Look back at Y2K… anybody remember the consumer spending statistics for that time period? Go do a little research and find out for yourself! Here is a little retrospective insight…

In their 1999, 4th Quarter Market Letter, Ferguson Wellman Capital Management, Inc had the following in the beginning of their letter:

“Y2K fears proved to be completely unfounded. Now capital spending budgets can re-focus from Y2K fixes to more productive long-term investments.” FergusonWellman

So… let’s see… Pre Y2K we have an economy that was acting like a post laxative patient so to help it out we pump a scary buzzword, “Y2K”, to induce fear based market behavior and just so happens that this “Y2K” is close enough though that it won’t cause a complete collapse of our economy. Spending on basic necessities skyrockets as the suburbs store up reserves for the coming Stone Age, there is a temporary deterioration of “Wall Street Sexiness” that acts as a wonderful “reset button” (or was that the government’s version of a Staples Easy Button?)… and when the morning of 2000 passes and everybody is still alive and is able to check their email (no email access is probably worse than death to some Americans), what happens? The government makes a show of “breathing a sigh of relief” in being so happy that we didn’t all die and “now let’s look to creating a brighter future in a big hurry!” and there you go… viola!… the market takes off! BIG!

So with “Y2K” the government enjoys a spike in consumer spending, an easy reset button of financial markets, and a patriotic effort on the behalf of all good citizens in building up our economy again…

What will the government get with “2012″? What kind of fears will be perpetuated through the mass media that will ensure the American Citizens swallow something that before would have been deemed unpalpable? Need I remind anyone of “war on terror” and “weapons of mass destruction” turning into the Patriot Act and Homeland Security (which really showed it’s effectiveness post Hurrican Katrina)?

We are now being cited a food shortage?… So watch just how much consumer spending goes up on basic necessecities (as people again store up for a coming cataclysm) to help the government transition into their next fear inducing buzzword (2012?) to activate their reset button, instigate the sweetly refreshing reshuffling of financial market obesity (err.., or is that the convenient sweeping under the rug of a collosal freighter load of mistakes in the spirit of “let’s put this bad thing behind us and work toward a bright future for our little innocent children?), and then ultimately envoke the Patriot in each and every one of us to bust butt and open pocketbooks for spending and investing to put wind in the sails of the “American Dream”…

All that has to happen is for the media (basically CNN and Fox) to start pumping 2012 and every “we don’t know what will really happen so that scares the crap out of us plus all these really smart people that do a lot of reading and studying have a lot of really scary predictions so this really might be the end of the world!” scenario and again, viola!… you have the entire American Citizenry eating out of the palm of your hand… hoping that all their hard earned tax dollars have stored up some kind of life insurance or salvation from Big Brother…

Don’t fall victim to such elementary manipulation. Keep your eyes open. Seek the Truth. Don’t hope for a handout from Big Brother. Don’t wonder why Uncle Sam isn’t doing something to change all these problems. You must take responsibility for the nation you live in and the world you inhabit and let it reflect your dreams and desires. I am reminded of something someone once said:

“Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country” – John F. Kennedy

The government is “for the people, by the people, of the people”… I believe it says that somewhere on some important document if I am not terribly mistaken (if I am I will hit the easy reset button… seems to work for Big Brother every time)…

Anyhow… go ahead… fill a bunch of 55 gallon drums with non perishables such as grain and rice (shoot! did I just say ”rice”? aren’t all the Teriyaki shop owners lining up to buy because there is a shortage?!) because there is a shortage coming and then after the scare comes and goes you can spend the next decade having a couple of wheat patches sprouting out your nose and a couple of rice paddies blooming out your ears… (is that how it happened to Grampa your wondering? hmm.. I dunno.. ask him how many media scares he lived through…)